what a bust.

i hope like alicia or anyone from the church does not read this.
but i'm miserable. this weekend really was not fun.
like the speakers and the music were amazing.
like don't get me wrong, i love alicia and her house was
fun but just like overall, i don't know.

i keep crying and i don't even know why.
well, i kind of know why. i'm still hurt by not
being put on plt, i feel like what i do isn't
as important and i don't even feel as comfortable
in my own church as i used to. i don't even
want to go anymore. it's not worth being
upset every single week when i get home.

i don't really like someone i used to be really close to
and it kills me and i don't want to be mean but it's
so hard not to be. like this person just grates on my
nerves a lot of the time and i can't take it because
i am not myself around them and i can't handle it.

i don't know. i am just miserable and i keep waiting
for God to fix it and i feel like it's never going to get
better with the whole situation.

and i really want to hang out with michael grothe.